While colorectal surgery has been documented to have some of the highest complication rates in the surgical field, some of the more common, functional complications are often overlooked in the literature and in discussion with patients. Urinary, sexual, and defecatory dysfunction are common after colorectal surgery, especially after pelvic dissections, and may severely impact the postoperative quality of life for patients. These complications include urinary retention, erectile dysfunction, retrograde ejaculation, dyspareunia, infertility, and low anterior resection syndrome. The majority is rooted in autonomic nerve damage, both sympathetic and parasympathetic, that occurs during mobilization and resection of the sigmoid colon and rectum. While not all of these postoperative complications are preventable, treatment strategies have been developed to ameliorate the impact on quality of life. Given the high incidence and direct effect on patients, clinicians should be familiar with the etiology, prevention, and treatment strategies of these complications to provide the highest quality of care.